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canes, AI, and libraries

Why does it feel so scary to post here sometimes? It feels way scarier than it used to, the stakes feel really high. Maybe not “high” actually, just completely unknown.

At any rate, a few questions I’ve been asking myself recently.

* * *

Where can I find a good still-in-production cane? I love this book on walking sticks and canes from LMP, but none are widely in production (understandably, this was a speculative brief).

The folding cane by Michael Graves Design comes close but I’ve only been able to find the CVS branded version secondhand on eBay, and the color selection leaves something to be desired.

* * *

How do you factor AI tool costs in to your time-based rates as a contractor? Working with AI makes me more efficient (reducing my billable hours), improves the quality of my work (some might argue that, but I think it’s the case), and costs me hard cash. In theory the answer is just “raise your rates”, but I suspect most clients wouldn’t be able to stomach that. Maybe some would with a detailed policy / explanation, but that’s a lot to ask of most folks. Charge per token? Surely not.

I got talking with Sam about this last night, and then the same topic came up with GC spontaneously this morning. Maybe consider the subscription itself normal tooling overhead, absorb token-based usage up to a particular documented limit, then bill the client for major project-specific token usage. Even that last bit is so fiddly though. Back when we were focused on SB-PH we tended to take on fixed-fee projects, I feel like that’s probably the way for tight-scope, repeatable services.

More thinking to be done here.

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What are some good books about the history of libraries? I’m curious how they evolved from private collections to previously-guaranteed-but-now-under-significant-threat public knowledge resources, and how that evolution could / should / shouldn’t influence future AI regulation. I’d love to read something that also covers the changing role of the librarian over time.

Analogous question: How did it come to be that computer + printer + internet access became a service that libraries are always assumed to offer? In the US, it seems like such a band-aid for the broader problem of internet access having nowhere near the protections that it should. How is it that the landline you’ve barely touched in a decade, if you even still have one, is more heavily protected than the utility you’re all but forced to use to file your taxes? Is there maybe a path forward with this considering the recent election results?

Thanks to @genericbecky.bsky.social for recommending The Library Book by Susan Orlean (and to @christian.bsky.social for relaying the rec!). The Library: A Fragile History also looks promising but sounds like it doesn’t go as deep on the the 20th+ century as I would like.

A post on the road to lupus diagnosis is still forthcoming. It’s almost impossible to write without sounding 100% more woe-is-me than I actually felt at the time, and to communicate the level of internal and external gaslighting involved. “Gaslighting” isn’t quite right though, it’s too strong a term for the usually-unintentional and mundane micro-invalidations. Death, or at least major illness, from a thousand cuts. I’ll think it through.

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Work-in-progress bran flake scones

A spectacular bakery near us seems to have retired their previous “funky” scone in favor of a Raisin Bran scone. I miss the old one (strawberry Earl Grey!) but am a big fan of the new one. I’d like to make them at home, with the primary goal of devising a fiber vehicle that we all actually like and keeps well for a few days. My secondary goal is eventually repurposing this to reduce the food waste generated from AB’s endless barely-touched bowls of Grape Nuts. It’s like a comfort blanket but in cereal format, she insists on its presence at 6:50am daily next to the bowl of cereal that she actually eats (“chee-ohs an muk, pees”).

Below is the WIP recipe I’ve assembled as of October 16, 2026. I used this recipe as a starting point but made a few tweaks that I thought would get me closer to the bakery’s version. Caveat is that the bougie grocery store nearest to us only sells Nature’s Path Organic Flax Plus Multigrain Flakes. (Can you feel the health?) I’ve only tried this recipe with that cereal so far, but I have a feeling the familiar purple box of bran flakes might work best for this.

Self-review of the recipe as-is: Pretty good! Not as dark of a brown overall as the ones I was aiming for but I think that might be down to the bran flakes I was using. The edges seemed similarly crisp. The interior was maybe a little under-baked, I think that might have been due to the flakes (they have flaxseed in them) and/or the temperature reduction dance. The coarse sugar on top is essential, the interior is not very sweet on purpose. See below for modifications for next time.

What I’m going to try next time:

  • Use the bran flakes in the purple box. These are less dense! So measure out the 2½ cups, it will probably be more like 85 g of cereal. You might need more or less, 175 g of cereal is probably too much.
  • Add raisins when combining the wet and the dry ingredients.
  • Do the milk-and-sugar topping before you space out the scones, and be even more generous with the coarse sugar.
  • Bake them at 375F for about 25-30 minutes instead of doing the temperature dance.

WIP ⚠️ Bran flake Scones recipe

Makes 8 large scones, 12 small scones. Takes 15 minutes of active prep, 20 minutes resting, 15 minutes in the freezer, 20 minutes to bake. Metric is recommended for exact bran-to-flour ratios.

Ingredients

  • 1¼ cup (300 mL) buttermilk, or 1¼ tablespoons vinegar topped up with milk to make 1¼ cup total
  • 2½ cups (175 g) bran flakes cereal
  • 1⅓ cups (175 g) all-purpose flour
  • 1 tablespoon baking powder
  • ½ teaspoon baking soda
  • ½ teaspoon salt (less if using salted butter)
  • 2 tablespoons (25 g) granulated sugar
  • 6 tablespoons (85 g) butter, very cold
  • Coarse sugar like Demerara and a splash of milk for topping

Method

  1. Line a ¼ sheet pan with parchment paper. If you don’t have a ¼ sheet pan, use something around that size that will fit in your freezer.
  2. In a medium bowl, stir together the buttermilk and bran flakes cereal. Let it stand for 15-20 minutes, stirring and mashing it up occasionally. You want a sort of porridge-like consistency.
  3. In a large bowl, combine the flour, sugar, baking powder, baking soda, salt, and sugar. Cut the super cold butter in to the flour mixture until only a few pea-sized pieces of flour remain.
  4. Stir your cereal soup in to the dry ingredients until it just comes together. Your hands are probably your best bet. It’ll feel sort of sticky, and at some point there will just be a bit of flour left at the bottom of the bowl.
  5. At this point, turn it out on to your lined sheet pan and shape it in to a rectangle around 9″ long and 6″ wide. Stick the tray in the freezer and let it rest in there for about 10 minutes while you preheat the oven to 425F (220C).
  6. Once the dough has rested, pull it out of the freezer and use a pizza cutter to cut your scones. First, do a big cut lengthwise through the middle of the rectangle, splitting it in to two 3″ × 9″ rectangles. Next, choose your adventure:
    1. For 8 larger scones: Cut through the middle of your two long rectangles, leaving yourself with four 3″ × 4.5″ rectangles, then cut each of those rectangles diagonally to make 8 triangles. You may need to bake these longer.
    2. For 12 smaller scones: Cut your two long rectangles in to thirds, leaving yourself with six 3″ × 3″ squares, then cut each of the squares diagonally to make 12 triangles.
  7. Next you need to space out the scones so they can rise and slightly spread. If you need a larger surface, use the parchment paper to transfer the scones to a bigger baking tray. Using a thin spatula, gently shimmy the scones apart until there is at least ½” of space between each scone.
  8. Brush the tops with milk and generously sprinkle with coarse sugar.
  9. Bake for 10 minutes at 425F (220C), then reduce the heat to 375F (190C) and bake for another 15 minutes.

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How I hang stuff on old plaster and lath walls

Have finally been hanging a few things on the wall, and this is a note-to-self about how best to do that in our current home.

I’m more used to either plaster over masonry (UK) or more modern drywall and studs (US), but our apartment in an old Brooklyn brownstone is mainly plaster and wood lath over masonry. Very crumbly old plaster, surprisingly dense lath, and very little void space between the plaster+lath and the masonry. Hanging something is more art than science and requires a good understanding of what you’re working with.

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Late 30s going on 70

A cloudy sky with a small hole of bright blue

It finally feels like fall here, it was about 48F when I took the kids to school and daycare. Enjoyed getting dressed for that sort of weather, not so much sunscreen and sweat. And my ears don’t hurt in the wind anymore thanks to the hydroxychloroquine, turns out that was Raynaud’s. But the joint pain is much more obvious with the cold. That might improve over time, but this is my now.

Late-30s going on 70. I’ve been taking a lot of comfort in Ursula Le Guin’s writing, as usual, but her writing on aging and the fallibility of the body is particularly resonant.

The pain in my feet, knees, and hips was enough the other day that it suddenly dawned on me. Do I need a cane? Maybe I need a cane. Let’s get a cane. I found a secondhand one online from some estate sale in California and sawed it down to size. I won’t need it often, but there’s something about having something that I picked, that someone else previously found useful, that I modified just for me, that makes life-changing pain a little more visible when it’s not that obvious, pain that I can’t explain to acquaintances, friends, strangers, without bursting in to tears. Having something to hold, to lean on, to signify “hey, maybe let me take that bus seat if that’s alright”, is really comforting.

I’m hoping that visual signifiers will also help with the kids. That’s the hardest, most sorrowful part. Reminding him that I have “inside boo-boos” when he wants to play bath monsters, “I know mommy”, running to ask daddy instead. Her looking at me carefully with her big blue eyes saying “oo okayee?” when I wince after she jumps in to my lap. Yes, I’m okay my love. I’m not, but I’m okay enough.

My dad has dealt with chronic pain for years. I had no idea how much it drains the soul. I’m sorry.

It’s not all bad. Like I said, my ears don’t hurt in the cold now. Though everything else does, how’s that for a tradeoff. I can have dairy again, the lactose intolerance was a part of it all. And my highest and lowest notes are back with zero effort on my part, which was truly a shock.

So many things to be thankful for (insurance, savings, time, Sam, friends, family, neighbors, modern medicine, our walkable neighborhood, a good rheumatologist). And Carole King. How had I not listened to “Tapestry” in full before. What an unbelievable album. I put it on in a particularly low moment after I stumbled across a video of Aretha Franklin singing “(You Make Me Feel Like) A Natural Woman” at the 38th Kennedy Center Honors gala. Every song on there is fantastic, but I was full of tears after the first line of “Beautiful”.

“You got to get up every morning with a smile on your face / and show the world all the love in your heart.”

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One answer, many questions

Another quick update: I’ve been diagnosed definitively with lupus. I’d been toeing that line for a long time, have had symptoms related to it for at least 15 years, but things properly went wrong starting around the middle of last year and a recent biopsy made it definitive.

Anyways, send me all of your hot-weather recommendations for long sleeves and pants that don’t make me feel like a boil-in-a-bag meal. And hats, all the hats. Did Carmen Sandiego have lupus?

(Genuinely, related to the clothing recommendation solicitation: I really appreciate the emails I get about this blog, truly, and I’m sincere when I say “send me x”. But I should say now, I’m not great on quick replies at the moment, haven’t been for some time. It’s hard to find the words. But thank you.)

The first week after diagnosis was the honeymoon phase, relief at knowing. Now I’m in the much lower “what now, what next” phase. The diagnosis road has been very long, and honestly there’s still a long way to go in terms of finding the right cocktail of drugs to keep flare ups and progression at bay. Reading other folks’ stories has been really helpful though, so I’ll try to share it at some point.

If you’ve wondered why the long time between posts, here’s the answer.

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Onward and upward

Quick update: I’ve departed the Eames Institute. Feeling a lot of feelings about it! Can’t wait to see what the EI, LMP, and Stout folks get up to, what a fantastic bunch. Will be watching those spaces.

I’m taking a breather for a bit, mainly focusing on some health stuff, reconnecting, and making new connections. Also hopefully giving this site a facelift… Reach out to say hi. 💫

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The self on standby

The self has been on standby recently. My unread emails badge is something to behold, the blog is looking cobwebby, the unread books are piling up, the knee is misbehaving. Need to get proactive about this, but also want to be gentle and forgiving while the kids are so young and sleep so ephemeral. Sweet autopilot.

Maybe a little light meditation to kickstart things? How to begin.

I’m sorry to those friends waiting on replies, you’re not forgotten, just on too long a hold while I work on the bags under my eyes.

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Come work with me!

Heads up: we’re hiring at the Eames Institute.

For the Digital Experience Designer role, we’re looking for someone with a product and/or systems-oriented background that has major typographic, brand, and storytelling sensitivity. Ideally someone with a bit of code experience but a designer first and foremost, with real-world experience in both the cultural and tech sectors. Would be working super closely with me to map out and execute the digital roadmap at the Institute, with some pretty interesting projects in the mix.

Check out the role if you know anyone appropriate or are interested. 💫

Related side note: I’m now the Director of Digital Development! 🎉