Published

Nan-nan’s cupcakes

Looking through Nan-nan’s recipe books, the first thing that caught my eye was a recipe for cupcakes from her sister June, see below. I’ve preserved her notes and phrasing as much as possible but have adjusted certain elements to be more usable.

I’m an OK baker but more of a pies-and-cookies person. Every cake I’ve ever made seems a little meh. These were not meh, 10/10.


Cup Cakes

From June, Merle’s favorite. Good with baked icing or white fudge icing. Makes 12.

Preheat the oven to 350F (175C).

In a large bowl, cream together ½ c (113 g) softened unsalted butter, 1 c (200 g) sugar, ½ t salt, and 1 t vanilla extract until very fluffy and light. Next, beat in 4 egg yolks until thick and light in color. In another bowl, sift together 2 c (230 g) all purpose flour and 2 t baking powder. In small, alternating amounts, add the flour mixture and ⅔ c (158 ml) milk to the butter mixture. Beat after each addition, until smooth.

Pour the batter in to a lined cupcake tin, filling each cup ⅔ of the way. Bake in a moderate oven, about 350F (175C), 25 to 30 minutes. Turn the tin once halfway through if you find one side is browning more than the other.

Additional notes

Note that the cupcake recipe originally calls for Spry, a vegetable shortening. I’ve substituted butter here since that’s what I’ve got.

The original recipe also specified 2 c of sifted flour, with an additional note that specified Gold Medal or Swans Down flour. Gold Medal is usually plain / all purpose flour, and Swans Down only produces cake flour AFAIK. This made determining the metric measurement kind of ambiguous, 2 c sifted all purpose flour is significantly different than cake flour. The measurement below worked well ultimately, but I’d like to try cake flour eventually so will need to keep this in mind.

She originally said it makes 18, but I found that it is much closer to 12 in a 12-cup cupcake tin with cups that measured 2″ (4.25 cm) in diameter across the base. The flour debacle might have caused the difference.

The cupcakes supposedly go well with “baked icing”, something I had never come across before. I tried it with baked frosting and failed *spectacularly*. I can see that it could be great though, kind of like a molasses-y meringue on top, so I’ll try again and note here if successful.

Published

Nan-nan’s recipe books

Handwritten recipes by my paternal grandmother

My cousin kindly let me borrow my paternal grandmother’s cookbooks for the next few months until we meet again in August. One is a comb-bound cookbook assembled by the community of Worthington, OH. The other is more of a diary where she recorded her favourite recipes. I had NO idea that these books existed. I had always been told she didn’t keep track of her recipes, so this is pretty exciting.

It’s going to take a while to go through the cookbooks, so I took some rough photos of all of the spreads in case I don’t get through it all by the time I return them. It’s classic late 20th-century Midwestern fare. Most of the pages are dedicated to sweets of all sorts, and there are a fair few recipes that call for Velveeta cheese, Jello, or Campbell’s cream of mushroom soup. I’ll probably steer clear of the gelatine “salads” and sadly have to avoid the cheesiest of things, but I’m up for everything else!

I’ll share some of Nan-nan’s recipes in future notes as I try them.

Published

Could NemID exist in other countries? And should it?

Front of a NemID card

Last Monday, I met with some friends at the Cock in Hackney. One of them had just returned from Copenhagen and mentioned having to sort out something related to his NemID. I’d never heard of it before.

Apparently NemID is a common login tool that Danish residents use to access online banking and services offered by public institutions. It’s a little credit card-sized booklet of 148 key pairs that you use alongside a user ID and a password. It’s like an analogue version of two-factor authentication. Each time you log in to something with NemID, the key pair you use is invalidated and is never used again. When you’ve used up all of your key pairs, you’re sent a new NemID booklet.

It seems like a great system. Unlike biometric data, it would be easy to replace if it were compromised. Unlike most other two-factor authentication methods, it doesn’t require an additional (usually smart) device of some sort.

There are downsides though. NemID is administered by a single organisation, Nets DanID A/S, and all of the data seems to be held in one place. This was a problem in 2013 when a DDoS attack knocked it offline temporarily. The oversight also seems pretty iffy, see this January 2016 blog article: “NemID is not cryptologically secure – and the authorities do not care”.

It’s also hard to say how this could be rolled out in countries with larger populations… Denmark’s population is around 5.7 million. That’s a bit more manageable than the UK (~ 66 million), Brazil (~ 209 million), or India (~ 1.3 billion).

Apparently NemID is going to be replaced by MitID in the next few years, so it will be interesting to see if the Danish government forces any changes to make the system less centralised.

And it makes me wonder (again) if something like Dark Crystal could ever work on a national scale.

Published

Assertive Californian seeds

Graphite drawing of a filaree seed

In southern California, there are a few seeds that assert themselves in late summer as things get drier. A lot of prickly, pointy things that stick to you or make themselves known in more painful ways.

Graphite drawing of dried burclover

A few of them were fun to play with as a kid. If you pick at the center of a dry burclover seedpod and pinch the end of it in your fingers, you can pull it away until all that’s left are a few seeds and one long coil of tiny spikes. Filaree seeds wind up tight to make a little drill when peeled away from the plant. And you can make foxtails travel on their own if you put your forearms together from wrist to elbow, hands facing up, and then have a friend place one on your wrists with the point facing you. Rub your forearms back and forth and it will travel down your arms.

Graphite drawing of puncturevine or Goats Head seed

But some seeds were just annoying. If you went for a walk through a field, chances are you’d come out with your socks and shoelaces absolutely covered in hedge parsley hitchhikers. Sandbur and puncturevine were the worst. Puncturevine has a few other nicknames. Goat’s Head, for the shape of the seed pod sections, and caltrop. It often grows on the dry, sandy areas near the beach making it particularly perilous for the bare-footed.

Published

Setting up a Raspberry server + daemonized Homebase for pinning Dat websites

This suite of tutorials is the result of a recent Agorama Server Co-op workshop day. They cover how to set up a Raspberry Pi, how to use an Ansible playbook to easily get a Pi set up as a server, and how to run Homebase on a Raspberry server.

A Raspberry Pi 3 Model B+


Introduction

Mise en scène

For almost all of the tutorials below, you’ll need: a computer, a Raspberry Pi, a power supply for your Pi (read more), an SD card appropriate to your requirements (read more), and an SD card reader. You may also find an ethernet cable useful if your Pi has an ethernet port.

Personally, I’m working with: a 15ʺ MacBook Pro with an SD card port; a Raspberry Pi 3 Model B+; a SanDisk Ultra 16GB micro SD card with an 80Mbps read speed that came with a microSD adapter; and the charger from an old Android phone.

Glossary

Some of these tutorials are like a mini crash course in server administration. You don’t need to know much to get started and mess around, but it is useful to be aware of a few terms. If you’re unfamiliar with any of the terms used, see below for very brief explanations.

Ansible
An IT automation tool
Beaker
Primarily a browser for Dat and HTTP/S websites; also offers website seeding and other features
booting
The startup sequence that happens when you turn on a computer
command line
A text interface where you can write in commands for your computer; on a Mac, you can open the command line by firing up the Terminal application
daemon
A computer program that runs as a background process; most people pronounce it “DEE-muhn”
Dat
A peer-to-peer protocol for sharing websites, files, and other data over the internet
Etcher
Software that can be used to flash OS images on to SD cards or USB drives; a free and open-source Electron app developed by Balena
flashing
To update a drive with a new program such as an operating system
Git
A version control system widely used by programmers and web developers
Homebase
“A self-deployable tool for managing websites published with the Dat protocol”; by the Beaker team
image
A serialized copy of an entire computer system stored safely in a file
IP address
A series of numbers separated by periods that is assigned to each computer connected to a network
mount
Making a drive such as an SD card or an external hard drive accessible to your computer; in theory, all you should usually have to do to mount a drive is plug it in to your computer
Nano
A simple command line text editor; for more complex editing, emacs or vi may be preferable
operating system (OS)
System software that manages a computer’s software and hardware; if you compared all of the software on a computer to a house, the OS would be the foundations
pinning
Synonymous with seeding or hosting for Dat sites; read more in the Beaker documentation
pip
Python package manager
playbook
A defined set of scripts and variables used by Ansible for server configuration
Python
A programming language
Raspbian
The Raspberry Pi Foundation’s officially supported operating system
root (directory)
The top-level directory in a filesystem; if you compared the filesystem to a family tree, the root would be the oldest ancestor at the very top of the tree
root (user)
The user with administrative privileges; it’s a powerful user so should be kept very secure
SD card
A memory card often used in portable devices; SD stands for “secure digital”
service
With computers, a service is usually a program that runs in the background; if you were to compare a computer with a human, you might compare a service to breathing
SSH
A protocol for connecting to a server securely over a potentially insecure network; SSH stands for “Secure Shell”
SSH key
An SSH key is used to log in to SSH; it is considered much more secure than a simple username + password combo
user
With servers, a “user” is an account with a particular set of privileges and permissions
wpa_supplicant
Cross-platform software that implements WiFi security protocols including WPA and WPA2; the wpa_supplicant.conf file configures wpa_supplicant

Set up a Raspberry Pi for the first time

Flash Raspbian on an SD card using Etcher
  1. If you don’t already have it installed, download and install Etcher.
  2. Download your preferred Raspbian image as a .zip file. If you will only be using the Raspberry Pi as a server, such as with Homebase, you may wish to go with Raspbian Lite.
  3. Plug your SD card in to your card reader so that it mounts on your computer.
  4. Flash the Raspbian image on to your SD card by opening the downloaded image in Etcher, selecting your mounted SD card, and then clicking flash. Use caution. Flashing will overwrite anything on the selected drive. If you accidentally select an external hard drive instead of your SD, you’re going to have a bad time.
  5. When Etcher is done, remove the SD card. It should have been unmounted as part of the flashing process, but double-check before you pull it out of the card reader.

Flashing the Raspbian image on to an SD can be done manually instead of using Etcher. For further info, see the base of the “Installing operating system images” page on raspberrypi.org.

If you want to connect the Pi to a WiFi network or enable SSH, complete those steps before booting the Pi.

Connect a Raspberry Pi to WiFi on the command line

This tutorial assumes you have flashed Raspbian on an SD card but have not yet booted the Pi. If you have already booted the Pi, see instructions on how to change the existing WiFi configuration on the command line.

Plug your SD card in to your card reader so that it mounts on your computer.

Open the command line and run:

nano /Volumes/boot/wpa_supplicant.conf

This will open a blank file using nano. Paste in the configuration below:

country=gb
update_config=1
ctrl_interface=/var/run/wpa_supplicant

network={
  scan_ssid=1
  ssid="YOUR_NETWORK_NAME"
  psk="YOUR_NETWORK_PASSWORD"
}

Be sure to change the ssid and psk values to your WiFi network name and password respectively. The country value should be set to the ISO 3166-1 alpha-2 code for the country the Pi is in.

If you are planning to use the Raspberry Pi on a few networks, you should add any other required networks to this file as so:

country=gb
update_config=1
ctrl_interface=/var/run/wpa_supplicant

network={
  scan_ssid=1
  ssid="YOUR_NETWORK_NAME_1"
  psk="YOUR_NETWORK_PASSWORD_1"
  priority = 1
}

network={
  scan_ssid=1
  ssid="YOUR_NETWORK_NAME_2"
  psk="YOUR_NETWORK_PASSWORD_2"
  priority = 2
}

When you are done editing the credentials, save the wpa_supplicant.conf file and close Nano.

If you want to enable SSH but haven’t yet done so, complete that step before you boot the Pi for the first time.

When you are ready to boot the Pi for the first time and test the WiFi connection, insert the SD card in the Raspberry Pi and plug the Pi in to a power source. Give it a minute or two, then view the devices on the network. If the Pi shows up, you’re ready to go.

If you are planning to use the Raspberry Pi as a server, such as to run Homebase, you may wish to keep it plugged in to the ethernet for a more stable connection.

Enable SSH on a Raspberry Pi

As of late 2016, Raspbian has SSH disabled by default. This is to protect users from accidentally making their Pi accessible to the internet with default credentials. This tutorial assumes you have flashed Raspbian on an SD card but have not yet booted the Pi.

Plug your SD card in to your card reader so that it mounts on your computer.

Next, open the command line and run

touch /Volumes/boot/ssh

This will create a new empty file titled ssh in the root of your SD card. This empty file will allow you to connect via SSH when the Pi is first booted.

If you get an error after running the touch command that says No such file or directory, check that your SD card has mounted correctly and check that Raspbian is installed on the SD card.

If you want to connect the Pi to a WiFi network but haven’t yet done so, complete that step before you boot the Pi for the first time.

Log in to a Raspberry Pi via SSH as the root user pi

This tutorial assumes you have already flashed Raspbian on an SD card, have enabled SSH, have connected the Pi to the internet via WiFi or ethernet, and have booted the Pi.

Open the command line and run:

ssh pi@raspberrypi.local

If this is the first time you are connecting via SSH then type in the default password raspberry. If you don’t plan to use Agorama’s Ansible playbook to configure your SSH credentials, you must change your default password by using the passwd command (read more). Keeping the default password in place and enabling SSH just invites bad guys to do shady things with your Pi.

If this is not the first time you are connecting via SSH, use the password you configured with passwd or the password you added to the Ansible playbook.

For security reasons, nothing will show on the screen while you are typing your password.

If nothing happens when you attempt to log in, your Pi may not be connected to the internet.

If you receive a Permission denied error, you will need to find the Pi’s IP address. View the devices on the network to determine the IP. Once you have the Pi’s IP address, try logging in as instructed above but replace raspberrypi.local with your Pi’s IP address. If you had to take this step, you may want to write down your Pi’s IP address for use in other steps on this page.

If you receive an error relating to the ECDSA host key changing, see the guidance below guidance below related to ECDSA errors.


Use Ansible playbook to configure Raspberry Pi server

About Agorama’s Ansible playbook

Agorama’s Ansible Raspberry server playbook automates a number of fiddly tasks that are required to get a Raspberry Pi set up as a server geared towards use with Homebase. You can get a feel for the tasks that will be performed by the playbook by browsing the files within the playbook, working backwards from all.yml.

As of late April 2019, the tasks performed by the playbook include:

  • Set up user accounts and apply basic updates & security
  • Prepare Raspberry Pi to run Node.js apps
    • Run nodesource.node
    • Create global package directory
    • Add global package directory to .npmrc
    • Add global package directory to PATH
  • Install nginx web server

Future tasks planned for the playbook include DNS configuration and HTTPS support.

Regardless of what method you use to set up a server, and no matter where the server “lives” – on a Raspberry Pi, a DigitalOcean droplet, or anywhere else – the most important thing to remember is that it is your responsibility to keep it secure and up-to-date.

Install Ansible and get the playbook

This tutorial assumes you have Python, pip, and git installed on your computer.

Open the command line.

Install the Python packages Ansible and Passlib by running:

pip install ansible passlib

Next, clone Agorama’s ansible-raspberry-server repository:

git clone https://github.com/agoramaHub/ansible-raspberry-server.git

and change directories in to the root of that repository by running:

cd ansible-raspberry-server

Now you are ready to add your SSH credentials to this Ansible playbook and configure a Raspberry Pi.

Add your SSH credentials and timezone to the playbook

This tutorial assumes you have already set up Ansible and the playbook. It also assumes that you have set up SSH keys (see tutorial on DigitalOcean).

Open the command line and change directories to the root directory of the cloned Ansible playbook by running the command below. Replace the path with the correct path on your computer.

cd /path/to/your/ansible-raspberry-server

To add your SSH key and change the password for the root pi user, run the command:

ansible-playbook 01-auth.yml

You will be prompted to add your public key path and set a password for the root user. The default key path should be fine unless you placed your public key somewhere other than the default path when you created it. Set the password to the password you would prefer to use when you log in to the root pi user via SSH. Note that you will not need to use this password often since you are adding your SSH key, however you will need it when you first run the playbook.

When you have finished answering each prompt, the output will be saved to vars/auth.yml with the password encrypted by passlib.

To check and edit the timezone, run:

nano vars/base.yml

to open the base variables file with nano. If you need to change the timezone, edit the ntp_timezone value and save this file.

Run the playbook

This tutorial assumes you have already set up Ansible and the playbook, have configured your SSH credentials in the playbook, have flashed Raspbian, have enabled SSH, have connected the Pi to the internet via WiFi or ethernet, and have booted the Pi.

Open the command line and change directories to the root directory of the cloned Ansible playbook by running the command below. Replace the path with the correct path on your computer.

cd /path/to/your/ansible-raspberry-server

When you’re ready, run the playbook:

ansible-playbook all.yml --ask-pass

If the command fails because it cannot find the Pi, you need to change the hosts file so that the script can find the Pi via its IP address. View the devices on the network to determine the IP, then run:

nano hosts

to open the hosts file with nano. Replace raspberrypi.local with your Raspberry Pi’s IP address. You may add additional Raspberry Pi IP addresses to this file if you want to run the playbook on multiple Pis. When you are done editing, save and close this file and then run the ansible-playbook command above again.

You will be prompted for the password you added to the playbook. If your SSH key is added and you can log in successfully then the playbook will proceed to configure the Raspberry Pi, logging tasks as they are performed.

Note: if you configured a passphrase for your SSH key when you set it up, you will be asked for this as well and will be asked for it each time you connect to your Raspberry Pi via SSH in the future. See this StackExchange thread for a few suggestions on how to avoid being asked for the passphrase every time.


Run Homebase on a Raspberry Pi server

Install dat and homebase

This tutorial assumes that you have set up a Raspberry Pi and have configured it for use as a server using Agorama’s Ansible playbook or via other means. It also assumes that your configured Raspberry Pi is on and connected to the internet and that you have logged in via SSH.

For security purposes, the Ansible playbook configures worker user on Raspberry server so that we’re not using the root user pi to install and run software. When you first log in with SSH you are logged in as the root user, so we need to switch to worker by running:

sudo su worker

Next, install dat:

npm install -g dat

Test whether or not the dat installation works with the Pi configuration by running:

dat doctor

When prompted, select the peer-to-peer test and send the command it returns to a friend that has dat installed. Ask the friend to run the command. If dat doctor returns successful, then you’re all good. Disconnect from dat doctor by typing ctrl + c.

Install homebase by running:

npm install -g @beaker/homebase

Change directory to the user root:

cd

and then create a Homebase config. Run:

nano .homebase.yml

to open up the Homebase config with nano, then paste in:

dats:
  - url: dat://01cd482f39eb729cdcbb479b03b0c76c6def9cfc9cff276a564a17c99c4432f4/
  - url: dat://b0bc462c23e3ca1fee7731d0a1a2dc38bd9b9385daa413520e25aea0a26237a6/
  - url: dat://f707397e8dacc1893dced5afa285bab1715b70fe40135c2e14aac7de52f2c6bb/

directory: ~/.homebase        # where your data will be stored

# For API service. Establish API endpoint through port 80 (http)
ports:
  http: 8080                  # HTTP port for redirects or non-TLS serving

This config will set up a pinning service without DNS support that pins three Agorama-related URLs. Feel free to replace them with URLs of your choice. Save and close the file when you’re done editing.

Next, run homebase:

homebase

The response should indicate success and that your URLs from the .homebase.yml file are being pinned.

If you get an error message here or when you ran dat doctor, you may need to check the configuration of your Raspberry Pi.

Daemonize homebase with systemd

This tutorial assumes that you have set up a Raspberry Pi, have configured it with Agorama’s Ansible Raspberry playbook according to the instructions above, and have installed dat and homebase on the Pi. It also assumes that your configured Raspberry Pi is on and connected to the internet and that you have logged in via SSH.

Daemonizing homebase means that it will constantly run in the background as long as the service hasn’t failed, the server is on, and the server is connected to the internet. This is important because the whole point is that we want the Dat sites specified in .homebase.yml to run in perpetuity.

First, add a service configuration for homebase. As the root user pi, run:

nano /etc/systemd/system/homebase.service

to open a new file with nano. Paste in:

[Unit]
Description=homebase

[Service]
Type=simple
ExecStart=/usr/bin/env .npm-packages/bin/homebase
WorkingDirectory=/home/worker/
Restart=on-failure
StandardInput=null
StandardOutput=syslog
StandardError=syslog
Restart=always
SyslogIdentifier=homebase
User=worker
Group=worker

[Install]
WantedBy=multi-user.target

This configuration file indicates (amongst other things) which user will run the service, where to find homebase, and whether or not to restart when the system is rebooted.

To start the service, run:

sudo service homebase start

To stop the service, run:

sudo service homebase stop

To read the logs, run:

journalctl -u homebase

If the service is running and is working as it should, you should be able to visit any of the URLs you added to your .homebase.yml config file in Beaker Browser.

NOTE
A few friendly folks have suggested pm2 for daemonizing Homebase (see Twitter thread). This is also what is suggested in the Homebase readme, and it’s what I used previously when getting Homebase set up on DigitalOcean. It worked great for me, but this time round we used systemd because two people at the workshop had rough experiences using pm2 with Homebase on a Raspberry Pi. I think it had something to do with a crazy amount of memory usage? Not 100% sure, I think we may cover this in a future workshop.


Related tasks, troubleshooting, and edits

Useful commands

These are very basic examples of some useful commands. Have a search online for more powerful examples.

To change directory:

cd preferred/directory

To list the files in a directory (omit directoryname if you want to list the files in the current directory):

ls directoryname

To display the contents of a file:

cat filename

To edit a file using nano (the file will be created in the current directory if it doesn’t exist):

nano filename

To reboot a Raspberry Pi, be sure you are connected via SSH as the pi root user and then run:

sudo reboot

To disconnect from an SSH session, type ctrl + d

It isn’t a great idea to just pull the plug on a Raspberry Pi to turn it off since it can cause problems with your SD card or the file system. To shut down a Raspberry Pi:

sudo shutdown -h now
View all devices connected to a network

It can be useful to view all devices connected to a network if you want to check your Raspberry Pi’s WiFi connection or need to identify its IP address.

You can use your router’s admin interface, the mobile app Fing, or the network scanning tool nmap to view a list of the devices connected to your network.

If you are trying to find a Raspberry Pi’s IP address and there are a lot of devices connected, you may need to use the list of devices and the process of elimination (i.e. turn devices on and off and see what disappears).

If the SD card will not mount

If you plug in an SD card and it will not mount, try to use your system tools such as Disk Utility to check for the drive. If that doesn’t work, try restarting your computer. If that doesn’t work, try different hardware such as a friend’s computer or an external card reader. I know at least four people with Macbook Pros that have dealt with defective card reader ports.

Fixing ECDSA error triggered at SSH login when a Raspberry Pi has been connected to a new network

If you added your SSH key using Agorama’s Ansible Raspberry playbook and then move your Pi on to a new network, you will probably receive an error relating to the ECDSA host key changing. The base of the warning message should indicate that you can fix this by adding the correct host key in ~/.ssh/known_hosts.

One way to resolve this is to re-add your SSH credentials to the Ansible playbook and then run the playbook so that your SSH keys are added again.

Changing the WiFi configuration for an existing Raspberry Pi on the command line

If you did not add your new network to your wpa_supplicant.config file when you first set up WiFi on your Pi, you will need to add your new network to this file.

If your Raspberry Pi does not have an ethernet port, it may be easiest to start from scratch (flash Raspbian on to the SD card and configure the wpa_supplicant.conf file).

If your Raspberry Pi has an ethernet port, connect it to the network via ethernet. Open the command line and connect via SSH, then run:

sudo nano /etc/wpa_supplicant/wpa_supplicant.conf

This will open up the wpa_supplicant.conf with nano. Scroll down the file and edit the network details as per the WiFi connection instructions above.

When you are done editing, save and close the file then disconnect your Raspberry Pi from the ethernet. To test the connection, check for the Raspberry Pi by viewing all of the devices connected to the network. If the Pi is not connected after a couple minutes, try rebooting the Raspberry Pi.

List of edits
  • 03.03.19 – Added note about pm2 to “Daemonize homebase with systemd” tutorial

Next steps include configuring HTTPS support, DNS support, and getting more familiar with the maintenance involved in this setup. I think there is also some complication involving DMZ and routers, but I’m very unfamiliar with those implications at this point. I have a feeling we’ll dig in to a lot of this during the upcoming Agorama Server Co-op evenings and workshops. See the Agorama site and their Twitter account for dates.

Thanks to the Agorama folks – organisers and fellow attendees – for a very fun workshop.

Published

watching a boy save his friend

someone screaming downstairs
we ignore it for a bit
happens a lot, it’s a narrow street, drivers get angry

but the screaming doesn’t stop
and the screaming moves, she’s running

we look out the window and down
a man in the middle of the street alone, blocking traffic, filming, wearing a motorbike helmet

shiny puddles on the pavement, from the middle of the road up to the sidewalk

a black hat in the middle of an intersection

all the cars backed up
askew and no honking

there’s a shirtless boy crouching against the fence

(I say “boy” because he’s so lanky, but he’s in no way a child)

the puddles lead to him
he leans on to something just barely out of sight

the woman is there now, she’s in a dusky pink headscarf
she is still screaming

then there are five people
then there are fifteen

(where is the ambulance? where are the sirens?)

a woman with short brown hair and a red jumper gets out of her hatchback
her little boy is in the front seat, craning his neck

she tries to help
more people rushing out of sidestreets and estates

the woman in pink is still wailing
the boy is still crouching

the woman in red has done what she can
or could not
she gets back in her car

the man who was filming is gone

the sun is nearly down

a large man bursts out of the building opposite
pacing, yelling
his hands on his head, in the air, clasped behind his neck
he sprints inside suddenly, trailed by others

so many voices and directionless running

finally sirens, a helicopter
(where does a helicopter land in east London?)

a police van flies over a speedbump
a medic jumps out and runs to the crowd
he is confronted by the woman in pink

“YOU *HAVE* TO STAY CALM”
he yells over her
she turns and runs away

he gets through to the shirtless boy
still crouching

eventually the boy gets up
no top in his hands
left shin of his grey sweats soaked in blood
a friend runs up, puts his arm around him
they wander

the police struggle to disperse a frantic crowd

“he’s DYING”

the large man is back, his sobs carrying over everything else

cyclists come through
nearly in the middle of it before the realise what is going on

cordons go up, people ordered to stay back
go home

(where do you go after something like this?)

boys pace endlessly
sudden bursts, trying to push through

the shirtless boy has a foil blanket and shuffles away
at the cordon he is gently turned back towards the scene
he’s not done yet

the large man is heaving with tears, suddenly rushing the medics and being held back
he collapses on the hood of a car
more sobs

the woman in pink is still wailing
the large man tears at himself
boys sneak through the cordons to see their friend
neighbours lean out of windows
so many spectators

he’s finally in an ambulance, in foil

medical wrappers blow around the street

the black hat is gone


Last night, I saw the immediate aftermath of a stabbing on Arcola Street in Dalston from the top floor of Cell Northside in a shared corner studio with large windows looking east and south. It was surreal, as if in slow motion, and completely impossible look away. It felt like an hour, but later on I realised it was probably 15, 20 minutes max. It was hard to understand what was going on at first. I kept hoping it was something else, maybe that he had been hit by a car (how does that make it better?).

News reports say that he’s stable, and that two suspects have been arrested. I think that the shirtless young man probably saved his life.

I didn’t really know what to do after that. Writing down what happened helped me stop replaying it in my head.

I don’t know what to say beyond this, and I’m not 100% sure why I’ve published it here except that it feels important to share and to remember. The large man’s anguish was unbearable.

Published

Richard Hollis’s book on Henry van de Velde, and a note on the index

Spread from book on Henry van de Velde by Richard Hollis

Richard Hollis’s Henry van de Velde: The Artist as Designer is out at long last. A lot of love, sweat, and tears has gone in to that book. It is absolutely jam packed, covering pretty much all of HvdV’s life with over 400 images. As part of Occasional Papers, I worked on the permissions, a bit of editing, and compiled the index.

Read about how the index was compiled

Published

“the insistence in any of them will necessarily lead to suffering”

The experience of the Self that is given in the existence of a personality comprises five conditioned attributes, namely, corporeal form (rûpa), sensations (vedanâ), perceptions (saññâ), emotions (sankhâra) and consciousness (viññâna). These five clusters (pañca khandha) determine all the body and mental phenomena of our contingent and finite experience. The North–American Buddhist philosopher Robert Thurman gives us vivid images of each of the mentioned elements:

We begin by looking at the body. We can […] thump our chests and say, ‘I’m me’, but surely we are not just a bunch of ribs. We look in the mirror and say, ‘There I am’, but we say the same thing when we see old snapshots of ourselves […] We can explore cells, axons, and dendrites; molecules, DNA, and RNA; atoms, subatomic quantum particles, unnameable forces and energies. Nowhere we can find anything still, static, independent. […]

We can move on to our minds and begin by sifting through our feelings, sensations, pleasures, pains, or numbnesses. […] I investigate my sensory surfaces and, after some time, give up finding any stable, self–sufficient ‘I’ anywhere along them.

Then we can move into images, words, symbols, ideas, concepts, mental pictures. This at first seems promising. ‘I’ is a word, after all. The names ‘Alice’, ‘Joe’, ‘Carol’, and ‘Shakyamuni’ all are nouns. When I pronounce my own name, ‘Bob’, does an image of myself arise in my mind? Is it a recent snapshot of my face? […] A curriculum vitae? A biography? Is it a favorite logo? A trademark? A symbol? […] None touches the essence of ‘me’. […]

We can move deeper into the motions of the mind, into emotions. When ‘I’ love or am in love, I feel powerfully present, even in the moment of feeling that solidity melting. When ‘I’ hate, I am carried away by destructive impulses […] – all these energies seem to take hold of ‘me’, or seem to emanate from ‘I’. But as I think them through, observe them in actuality or in memory, they seem fully bound in relationships. […]

At last we come to awareness itself, to look at our very consciousness […] But to turn toward my center of awareness, I have to tell my awareness to turn back on itself.

Thurman, Robert, Inner Revolution: Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Real Happiness, New York: Riverhead Books, 1998 (pp.74–79)

What we can say is that our personality is but the result of a combination of those five elements – to the point that the belief in its autonomy and permanence ends up being a suffering–causing illusion. In none of the mentioned clusters would we be able to detect the presence of an autonomous and unconditioned subject; therefore, the insistence in any of them will necessarily lead to suffering.

Correia, Carlos João, Personal Identity and Eastern Thought”, Filozofija i Društvo, vol 20 no 3, Belgrade: University of Belgrade, 2009 (pp.74–75)


I came across Prof. Correia’s paper when doing a bit of research on western vs. eastern perspectives on identity and the self. Side note: I don’t think I’ve ever seen such a strong profile photo as the one on Bob Thurman’s site.

Published

“These things I believe”

Might be at a turning point in my career. A lot of my friends are expressing similar feelings. I think it has something to do with working for nearly 10 years.

This frame of mind has made me really interested in manifestos. Not anything strident really, more purpose-driven lists that can help guide everyday decision-making. Here are a few manifesto-y links I’ve identified with recently.

  • These things I believe from “Not the user’s fault”. I think this is Jono Xia’s blog from when he was part of the Mozilla Labs team. I’ve tried to find him elsewhere on the web but haven’t found him anywhere so far. He raises some really good points about software design and development.
  • The Recurse Center’s Social Rules. Such a good, concise set of guidelines for public discourse. “No well-actually’s, no feigned surprise, no backseat driving, no subtle -isms”.
  • Immaculate Heart College Art Department Rules. Also available as a free tear-away poster at the Corita Kent: Power Up exhibition (8 Feb – 12 May 2019) at the House of Illustration.
  • GitLab’s Remote Manifesto. SB and I try to implement a lot of this, though we’re definitely not strict enough about it! We also strive to work this way with clients and collaborators, even those that live in London. Face-to-face IRL meetings are great, but it can be tough to squeeze them in when it takes an hour to get anywhere in this city.
  • Daniel Eatock’s manifesto, particularly “propose honesty as a solution”. See also the Scratching the Surface episode with Daniel Eatock from last September. Off the back of the Corita Kent exhibition, SB and I were talking about the lack of irony and cynicism in her work, about how refreshing that feels even though a lot of it is from over 50 years ago. He mentioned this podcast episode, that Eatock touches on this topic in relation to his kids, how kids just don’t perceive irony. I need to have a listen.

I’ll try to add more here as I come across them. Who knows, maybe I’ll add my own some day.